Lowell Deeds

A Tail of Two Men
by
Bilbo Bloggins

ACT I
Scene one

Two Men standing in a well lighted bank. The first man is a little dishevelled looking wearing sneakers and a stocking cap. His name is Nicholas Form. His friends call him “N Formed”. The second man, short and heavy is dressed in a baseball cap and blue jeans his name is Ernest Z Mark. He is known by” all” as “EZ Mark”. Bank tellers stand behind protective bulletproof glass helping customers as the characters talk…

N Formed: (picks up a pamphlet as he waits in line and turns to EZ Mark) Look at this pamphlet man. It says Phishing is becoming a real problem.
EZ: I know. I read the Newspapers… the government is limiting the size of the fishing catch. No wonder flounder is so expensive.
N Formed: What?… I mean phishing, not fishing…computer phishing.
EZ: What kind of an idiot would try to catch a computer? What would you use for bait?… a mouse?… Man, I hate rodents…(EZ’s face struggles to form an expression of thought)… And the computer would be ruined from the water anyway.
N Formed: Hold on big guy…let me explain “the phishing” this pamphlet is talking about ….it’s when some computer scoundrel sends fake e-mails to people using the graphics and logo of a legitimate business. For example: some thief might send you an
e-mail that looks exactly like it came from your bank. The e-mail might ask you to confirm your account password by “rewriting it”. If you fall for it… you’re hooked, they have access to your money.
EZ: I went trout fishing once…didn’t catch a thing.
N Formed: Hello! EZ Mark????
EZ: I think I was using the wrong bait, worms.
N Formed: You know… you have your head in the sand.
EZ: (laughing out loud) In the sand? You’re not catching fish in the sand. That’s where clams live. Man you are confused.

N Formed shaking his head with disgust, turns to the audience…a frown on his face…the bank lights dim and all activity of the other characters stops. He addresses the audience…
N Formed: (a serious tone) Obviously, I am in the presences of an easy victim…Phishing, and that is with a “ph”, is a real threat today. This pamphlet (holds pamphlet up to the audience) is put out by the American Bankers Association…It cautions all Internet users “never respond to an unsolicited e-mail that asks for detailed financial information”… regardless of whether it really looks like it came from your bank or Ebay or any other online account your might have…be sure you know who you are dealing with.

Lights up…the characters return to their past activities…Tellers scurry to help customers
EZ Mark: Hey…all this talk of fishing made me hungry…want to get a fried Haddock sandwich…I have money in the bank
N Formed: You have money now, but for how long?

Lights slowly dim and fade out as Nicholas Form and Ernest Z Mark exit into their dangerous, brave new world
Curtain
FINIS