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Ever heard of Cere? How about Charon? Or Xena? Well, you will. These are the names of three new planets being added to the solar system… By whom?…the International Astronomical Union that’s who… Shortly, ever kid in American will be memorizing Mercury, Venus Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Cere, Charon and Xerox, I mean Xena.. Every textbook will be changed also. Apparently, we have known about these round orbiting objects for quite some time…we just didn’t call them planets. What does it take to be a planet anyway?…Here is some of the things I think the International Astronomical Union should have considered before giving planet status to these orbs…
Is there a WiFi hotspot somewhere on it?
Is the sphere on Captain Kirk and the Starship Enterprise’s “must go there” list?
Did it take part in the “Big Bang”…even a small part is acceptable.
Did George Jetson ever have a part-time job there?
Was it ever referred to as planet X in a 60’s Sci-Fi movie?
And another thing…
I don’t really like the new names…Cere, Charon Xena? What’s up with that? Most of the other planets are named after mythological gods and goddesses…so why don’t we do something similar now?…Here’s an idea, we treat celebrities like deities, so why not name the new planets after movie stars…Suggestions: Cruise (namned after Tom Cruise) this will be the planet with the most irregular orbit; Simpson (named after Jessica or Homer whichever you prefer) this would be the dimmest of the new planets and finally Brando (named after the late, great Marlon Brando) this would be the largest of the new planets.
Actually, I have a solution to this whole problem…With this compromise we won’t have to change the text books or school lesson plans…Here it is, if the first letter of its name fits in the phase…“My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets” then it’s a planet,… if not, we call it a celestial object. What’s the difference?, they’re all orbiting the sun anyway…wait, they haven’t changed that yet have they?
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