Lowell Deeds

The latest on real estate recordings and new technology from the Middlesex North Registry of Deeds in Lowell

March 10, 2008

Get Back…Soon

by @ 8:34 am. Filed under Current Events, Pop Culture

At home I use a wireless router to connect to the Internet…and I love it. Since I own a laptop I go anywhere in the house and I am still connected. It is the greatest. Last Saturday I noticed my trustie baby would not connect to the wireless router. Oh no, something is wrong. I wondered, could I connect the old fashion way? ..using a paaatttcccch cord? Yes, yes that worked…but what about my wireless…what about my freeeeedom to go anywhere in my house and be Interneted. I need that! I decided to call technical support. I’ve gotten great results doing that in the past.

Rep: ”Sir, please shut your computer off and remove the battery.”
Me: “I did, it is still not connecting”.
Rep: ”Sir, restart your computer and hit F10 rapidly. This will start your BOIS”. Please return it to the Normal mode.
Me: “I did, it is still not connecting…what could be the problem”.
Rep: “Sir, hold you computer over your head and jump up and down while singing The Beatle’s song “Get Back”.
Me: What? “Get Back?”
Rep: “Yes Sir, This will restore the computer to its default settings.”
Me (huffing): “I did, it is still not connecting.”
Rep: “Sir, it looks like we need to service your laptop.”
Me: “What, will someone come to the house?”
Rep: “Sir, tech support does not do house calls. You will need to ship the computer to us?”
Me: (shaky voice) “What? You want me to send you my baby?”
Rep: “Sir, you can be assured that your computer will be in competent, caring hands. We will treat it as if it were our own.”

I was in a panic. I couldn’t concentrate. The service representative explained the procedure for shipping my laptop. I didn’t comprehend a word. I got off the phone. My wife looked at me.

Wife: “What’s the matter? You look like you just saw a ghost?”
Me: “My laptop has to be admitted, I mean sent out to be repaired.”
Wife: “Yeah, so send it. What do you have to do to get it to them?”
Me: “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening when they explained it”.
Wife: “Are you serious? It is just a computer”.
Me: “No,… no, you’re wrong. You don’t understand…It is more than a computer. It is part of my essence. Looking at my Internet favorites is like looking into my soul. My browsers is an old friend I trust and care about. Why, don’t you understand? My laptop, “my” Internet… I connect, therefore I exist. It is a slice of my very being”.
Wife: “Well, unslice it and get it fixed. I don’t want to listen to you crying about it”.

So, some time in the next twenty four to forty eigth hours a box with an accompanying shipping label will arrive at my home…my laptop will be sent to some far off, unknown location. Strange hands will probe its insides. Then in seven to nine business days it will come back as good as new, capable of wireless connection, again…While waiting, I’ll comfort myself by singing “Yesterday” and counting the minutes as if they were hours.

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