Lowell Deeds

The latest on real estate recordings and new technology from the Middlesex North Registry of Deeds in Lowell

May 28, 2008

WiFi-ulitis

by @ 1:27 pm. Filed under Technology

“If I walk into a room or building that has WiFi, my most immediate sign is that the front of my right thigh goes numb” (Hey, that sounds like the way I felt when Tom Brady was getting tossed around like a rag doll by the NY Giants). These are the words of Arthur Firstenberg describing his Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity (EHS) to Internet WiFi… “If I don’t leave, I’ll get short of breath, chest pains and the numbness will spread” (that is exactly what happened to me watching Britney Spears being carried out of her apartment on a gurney last month). An allergy to WiFi can bring on many “non-specific” symptoms also…headaches, fatigue, nausea and of course, the inability to connect to Google’s home page. According to ABC News, experts are divided about the validity of such claims…“hold on there now ABC…let me tell you something”. I know what Arthur Firstenberg is talking about. Every time I go near a Wireless Internet network I become overwhelmed also…with an uncontrollable need to check my email. I feel an itching and burning in my fingers and toes. I get a throbbing desire to double click my Gmail Inbox button. At times it is even worse…when I walk into a WiFi filled Starbucks my legs literally weaken. My tongue aimlessly flaps..I can barely speak rationally…Once I asked a clerk, ”I’ll have a medium Mocha Webaccino” (they never get that order right). Of course, I got a Latte Yahoo. But…unfortunately, some experts don’t understand people like Arthur Firstenberg and me… and I quote…”There are also some indications that these symptons may be due to pre-existing psychiatric conditions”. What? What are they trying to say? That we’re nuts? Really? Well Arthur and I will take a Double Shot…of Espresso Explorer that is.

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